Okay, you’ve met him during an adventurous vacation, things got interesting, but now both of you are back to your lives in different cities (or countries even), and it seems like it could work, you are trying really hard, but something just doesn’t feel right. If you’re experiencing some kind of a long distance relationship and it’s not as satisfactory as you thought it would be, here are some reasons why long distance relationships fail.
Communication gets weird
Because you both really want this to work you try to communicate with each other as much as you can. It’s easy in the age of messengers and social media, but beware – the more planned your chats are, the more trapped you will feel. When people are living in one city they can be spontaneous about their meetings and chats, while in long-distance relationships you might feel oblige to talk to your partner as much as possible.
You change, and you drift apart
We are formed by our environment, thus, living in different parts of the country (or globe) will soon feel like you’re living in different worlds, which is true for many long distance relationship couples. That’s why the more you spend time away from each other, sharing the same social events, holidays, local celebrations, and environment as a whole, the more distant you will feel from each other.
You meet new people
It’s natural for people to bond and seek company. You may spend time with your friend, to a concert or some other event and meet someone interesting there. When you spend time with someone in real life it’s really easy to fall for them, while long distance relationships require constant work and focus on your partner and his needs.
No matter how much you chat and make video calls, there is always that feeling of loneliness eating you up. We are social creatures and we require physical contact as well – hugs, touches, the presence of your loved one near you. When you don’t have that on a daily basis it becomes really painful to continue long distance relationships.
You get busy
As you both have separate lives with work, friends, family, and various social events, it’s easy to lose track of time and suddenly you notice that you haven’t messaged your partner in a few days and he hasn’t either. His feelings might be hurt or he’s equally busy living his life – either way you have to deal with these kinds of things and always think of that person far away, otherwise your bond will fade.
Lack of intimacy
It’s just how humans are! Not having that is a huge blow to you long-distance relationship and your future together as a couple. There are things you can try to make it work (there’s always phone and video chats), as long as you talk about it with your partner so you don’t feel like your needs have been neglected.
Sacrifices need to be made
If you really want to be with each other (in real life, not virtually) one of you will have to make the ultimate sacrifice at some point in time. Not many people are ready to leave everything they’ve worked for just to be with another person. You may need to change the city or country you live in, find a new job, maybe even learn a new language. It’s a tough choice to make!
Whether it’s just a gallon of gas to get into the city nearby or constant flight tickets, the financial strain is there and it’s inevitable for the both of you. The larger the distance, the harder it is to meet each other often, and that in itself will put a strain on your relationship.
It’s hard to tell where you are with the relationship
Have you been getting close or drifting apart gradually? When you don’t see each other every day, don’t see the person to read his gestures and expressions, it may become really hard to tell whether you’re on the same page or not. You don’t leave clothes in each other’s apartments or meet friends and parents, and that can become a huge setback in the progress of our long distance relationship.