Why Do People Cheat?

savemarmove2Cheating may be the most common reason marriages fail. So, why do people cheat? People cheat for a variety of reasons. Usually as a result of problems that have been there but have been ignored.

Your relationship is not hopeless after this happens, but hard work must be done before you two can thrive together as a couple.

Cheating usually isn’t about sexual attraction. Infidelity is almost always about more than just sex. Some of the common reasons that people cheat are based on emotional needs.

One of the most common reasons behind cheating is the need to feel appreciated. A partner who is feeling ignored or under-appreciated may start to look outside their relationship for sources of comfort and affirmation. Sometimes, the cheating partner will blame their significant other for their infidelity. They will say, “If he paid more attention to me, I wouldn’t have had to cheat,” or “If she won’t give me the love I need, then I have a right to look for it elsewhere.” If you are t feeling unloved or unappreciated in your relationship, you need to acknowledge those feelings and try to understand what is making you feel that way. Are you feeling unloved because your spouse is spending more time at work? Are you jealous of your boyfriend’s female friends? By looking at the true issues and being honest about personal and sexual needs, cheating can be kept out of the picture.

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Another reason someone may cheat is f0r revenge. Maybe your partner has cheated on you in the past or you have suspicions about his faithfulness. This might make you feel as if you have to ‘get back’ at your partner by ‘letting him know how it feels’. There are much better ways to let him know how you feel-talking and communicating being the first and most important.  If you are  feeling angry or bitter about your partner, let him or her know about your feelings. You need to decide if you will be able to forgive and forget. If you decide that you can’t, it’s better to leave the relationship rather than stay and cheat.

Self-destruction is a surprising reason behind cheating. There are some people that have such low self-esteem that when anything good happens to them (for example, dating a great man or woman), they feel like they don’t deserve it. These people sometimes will try to self-destruct their own relationships. This is to give them a slight feeling of control. The thinking goes like this, “I don’t deserve him and so I know I’m going to lose him. Better it happens now, while I can control it, than to wait until he breaks up with me.” Some people will keep their feelings inside, thinking “better to break their heart before they can break mine.”

With self-esteem and trust issues this extreme, it may require additional support, such as couples or individual counseling. If you think your partner is suffering from similar feelings, help them by offering your love, praise, and affection.

The best way to protect your relationship from infidelity, is to protect your relationship from the silent relationship killers – low self esteem, mistrust, bitterness, and jealousy. The best way to achieve this is through honest communication. Let them know your true emotions and encourage your partner to do the same.

As you can see, the answer to ‘Why Do People Cheat?” is very varied depending on who the person is and who the couple is. Look at your own situation and try to figure it out.